"I want you to be everything that's you deep at the center of your being." - Confucius
These were the words on the calendar that my mom and dad gave me for Christmas that hit home. What is at the center of my being? Do any of us actually ever know what is at the center of our being? That is the journey of life, I guess.
"It is better to travel well than to arrive." - Buddha
That is another one of the quotes from said calendar. As a highly introspective person (I know you never would have guessed ;) ), I am a firm believer that all the answers to 'life,' if there are answers, are right in front of us, we just have to slow down to listen. The only problem is we live in a culture where everything is perceived in terms of deadlines, meeting others expectations, fitting into a role - What are you going to study? What will you be when you grow up? What will be your legacy? Sure, it is easier to put people in a box but if someone is in a box all you see is the outside of that box and what you think the label is, you never get to see the complexity of what is inside. These have been some of the many thoughts running through my head over the last year and especially last few months. I reached the conclusion that I was not being everything that was me at the center of my being and was not traveling well. So I did the only logical thing one can do, I left my job.
"Be the change you wish to see in the world." - Gandhi
This quote has been one that was on the back of our sweatshirts in Key Club during high school, it was painted on the wall over one of the school exits, and has been painted on my being for years as well. I realized I was no longer living my life in a proactive way. I have learned in my 24 years that all I have control over, all I can really do is live the example of how I think the world should be.
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." - FDR
So with that quote in mind, I am starting a new chapter in my life. I am looking for a job in the DC area. I have come to the conclusion that, for now, I want to be working with the immigrant community, that is where my passion seems to be. I am hopeful to take up my studies of French again. With Spanish, French, and English I can speak to a large portion of the population. I also want to volunteer again, in some capacity. I am giving up control and having faith - or trying to suppress the control freak within me. I am trying to feel and not just think through everything. I am at the moment content in the uncertainty and excited for whatever is to come.
And since it wouldn't be a real Karen blog without it, I thank you all for your patience in hearing from me over the last few months and for all your thoughts, prayers, and messages - that largely said, "Where are you?" :-) Definitely, keep all three coming :)
I will keep you updated as I embark on this new chapter. I leave you with two of the quotes that are current mantras.
Micah 6:8: Act justly, love tenderly, and walk humbly with your God.
Confucius: Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart.
