Power and Privilege Part III

With my amazing colleagues at a team building and communications workshop

"Where there's a man who has no voice, there I shall be singing." This is one of the beautifully poetic lines written by the great artist Jewel in her song Hands. The song has many great tidbits of wisdom but this one has often struck me as I sing this anthem to myself. This sentiment that some people need other people to be their voice is echoed again and again by service-loving individuals, advocates, and NGO people. The idea that some of us need to speak for others. I have reached a point in my life that this idea is very off-putting and when I hear others say their job is to speak for such and such a marginalized group, I often mentally respond with my favorite come back "Just go home." You are further perpetuating the cycles of dependency and 'voicelessness' you claim to war against, if you feel you are giving someone a voice. This may offend some, so keep reading to see why I make this statement.


I fully believe all people have a voice. The issue is not a lack of voice, it is that some of us choose not to listen (in the broadest sense of the word, not necessarily involving the ability to hear with your ears) or some people are not given an audience to hear their voice. This could mean language barriers; it could mean confidence barriers; it could mean those people have been so well-trained by cultural norms that they think they have no right to speak and thus do not; or they have cried themselves hoarse in the past without response, so they decide to save their energy. I have decided we need a new paradigm. Instead of being the voice for others, we need more people who will give others a seat at the table. We need to start asking, "Who will be your plus one?"

Cambodian Wedding 2014

Perhaps this concept resounds with me because of the sheer number of friends I have getting married, all the wonderful cards asking who will be the plus one that I bring along. Or, maybe it connects back to my time in DC where I had the pleasure to attend a number of galas, fine dining, networking affairs that often provided the opportunity to bring along one more person. This, I think, is an approach we need to copy, since we cannot force people to listen.


As I talked about power and privilege in previous blogs, we see we each have our perspectives and we likely have our own groups with which we spend time (perhaps with those who hold similar perspectives). For some of us, there may be certain events and parties that we are invited to attend because of our power and affiliation (audiences that we can access because of our power and privilege). Instead of speaking for others, what if we start inviting those whose voices are not heard into those halls of power along with us and giving them an audience with whom they can speak?

Interpreting in Australia

An example from my own life... I have shared before that on a number of occasions I have been called on to be an interpreter for some of my Deaf colleagues. Though, not an ideal situation for a perfectionist with nothing but life experience to serve as training for such a task, I am often eager to take on the challenge (and at times create the challenge by lobbying to bring my Deaf colleagues along with me to meetings and events). Why? Because so often people say well-intentioned things like "It is so great for you to speak out for Deaf people since they can't do it themselves." Or "It is nice they have you to speak for them." Sure, the sentiment is often benevolent but my Deaf colleagues sure don't need me to speak for them. Many of them are equally, if not more opinionated than I and simply need to borrow my voice or ears (as some have before asked) so that I can make their language one that others will understand. Or, they need access to my audience. The limitation is imposed by the society in which they live, not inherent to their being.


A colleague of mine, also working in the NGO sector, has said numerous times "Guilt is a useless emotion." Thus, I write this not to chastise, as I, too, have likely used some of the phrases above and likely said even more offensive things.  I simply want to propose a new approach and to draw attention to this issue for all of us who are lucky enough to have a seat at the table with those who have power and privilege. It is not our job to take on another's story or fight, we simply must give them the audience.

Who are you bringing along as your plus one?

Power and Privilege Part II

Many of you know I had the privilege of being a part of a co-creation process developing curriculum for students that will be participating in service learning experiences around the world.  Remember some of them from previous pictures?

Photo courtesy of the Classroom of Many Culture's very own Laura H.

One of the challenges that I have faced, and witnessed other foreigners face, is understanding power dynamics within the work place (or society). Power structures are a social construct that come from years of conditioning and since each country, and even location in a country, has a different set of conditioning, perspectives are incredibly divergent. With the input of some of my colleagues and one of my interns, I came up with a little test that could be done with students to help them better understand their perspectives, which then will help them to consider others' perspectives (since we often do not realize our views are just that OUR views not the ultimate truth).

Below are some examples, a slightly edited version, of what we used with the co-creation group and examples I used with some of my staff in testing this activity. First, you get to play. See what biases you may hold. We all have biases so I encourage you to be honest with yourself and not say, "I can't respond that way because that makes me look misogynistic, racist, age-ist, etc." You are the only one seeing your biases** and it is only by recognizing them that you can start to address them, if you so choose. 

**Note, this idea was very difficult for some of my staff to understand. Many of them have been raised to believe that when asked a question the goal is always to get the 'right' answer, also known as the answer that most closely matches the opinion of the authority figure/teacher.

After you try it, I will explain some reflections of my own that have popped up in my life in Cambodia. To play, you must decide of the three 'people' pictured, who is the boss, who is the manager, and who is the staff person (ignore the fact that some people are missing half their heads this is a technology problem not a reflection of any kind of actual physical difference in the person).  

When putting this together, it also made me think, based on my experiences, how homogeneous the bosses and managers in my life have been.

Pencils ready?  You may now open you booklets... (I have always wanted to say that, though just the thought of those words makes me anxious).

 

Biases Game

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Put your pencils down.  Enjoy that wave of relief that washes over you with those words...

 

Image 1

Image 1 reflections: I used an image similar to this with my staff members and they tended to assume C (White Male) was the boss and then would switch A (Asian Male) and B (Asian Female) as the manager.   Almost all of them used the rationale based on what they see at our office for the A or B decision.  Across the board, they assumed the foreigner would be the boss as that seems to be the accepted norm.  From my perspective, some of this comes from the low education levels post-Khmer Rouge and still rebuilding a trained management within the country.  Some of this has to do with big multinational NGOs and businesses that bring a boss from overseas.  I have seen it argued that this is residue left from the French colonial times, where the French were the ones with power.  Per usual, I give you no one right answer.

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Image 2 reflection: Here in Cambodia, respecting elders is still the norm. Even the language indicates a division of respect based on age (I address someone my grandparents' age as grandma/pa, older than my parents as older auntie/uncle, my parents age as younger auntie/uncle, older than me as older brother/sister, etc).  When sharing this slide with my colleagues, C (the oldest) is the boss, B (middle-aged) is the manager,  A (youngest) is normal staff.  When sharing with some non-Khmer, Westerners, it was believed that the oldest may actually be the normal staff serving as a guard or cleaner.  The assumption was made if a person is still working past retirement age, they must be forced to because of lack of retirement, maybe they have low education, and thus would be in a lower level position.

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Image 3 reflection: Cambodia is a fairly homogeneous place, in comparison to many other countries, but there are still some biases.  For example, in this image, C (a Caucasian foreigner) would likely be viewed as the top person in power while B (the African, here in Cambodia likely Nigerian) would be considered the lowest with the Khmer in between.  I have not been able to really get a deep reason from any of my Khmer friends about this bias but there is definitely a lighter is better bias.  African or African-American/Europeans are treated differently than white foreigners.  When sharing this with others in different countries, a wider variety of distinctions emerged about who would be the boss based on race or ethnicity.

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Image 4 reflection: I didn't actually use this image with my Khmer colleagues, as it is largely assumed everyone is Buddhist.  The Muslim population here seems to almost exclusively work in the fishing industry and Christians are few and far between, though growing in number.  In discussing this with some other expats, we were all thinking about the religious backgrounds of our former bosses.  It was interesting based on region of origin how this varied, I have a bit more Jewish influence in my past places of employment due to being in the DC area.

These last three I think are where it really gets interesting with my colleagues...

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Image 5 reflection: Everyone who saw this image automatically ranked people based on the more education, the higher up in power.  It was an easy assessment with no deliberation.

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Image 6 reflection: Then, this image appeared and, for some, there was much more hesitation.  This was the example that came up when one thinks about foreign, college-age volunteers coming through and their role in the office dynamic.  In some organizations, staff seem to treat them as if they have some secret answer to everything.  In this image, none of my staff kept A (the person with the least education), who was now a foreigner as the lowest person.  Usually, C (the mid-level education person) was bumped down while the high level education person remained the big boss; however, for some staff, the under-educated foreigner became the Big Boss.  When asking staff about this decision some could articulate that perhaps education is much better overseas, so a higher education degree in Cambodia is the same as a lower education degree in another country.  Some  assumed a highly educated Cambodian had likely studied overseas, so they could still be the big boss while a mid-range educated Khmer person likely studied in Cambodia where the education system is not as strong.  For some, when asked why, they simply said, "Because a foreigner always has to be the boss.  They are the ones with the money."  When I started to talk about how maybe foreigners don't have cultural knowledge and understanding that is essential to working well in the country, most of my colleagues didn't even know what to do with that observation.  It was absolutely fascinating and left me pondering for DAYS.  What exactly are we exporting to these other countries?

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Image 7 reflection:  This one broke my heart.  Most of my co-workers that I showed this little exercise are Deaf.  Almost, across the board, they put A (the Deaf person) as the lowest on the power ladder.  B (the person without a disability who is hearing) was always the boss.  Some would switch C (person with a physical disability) with A (Deaf person) for the lowest on the hierarchy but only if they could pretend C was the interpreter for A.  I told them to imagine the organization we were talking about was to help Deaf people, just to change the scenario.  They still did not move person A (Deaf person) above the second in command unless they inserted the caveat that the manager was serving as an interpreter.  So, why does my heart break?  How do we support our Deaf community members to become the leaders they can be if they can't even imagine having a Deaf person, let alone themselves, responsible for leading others, especially hearing people.  

Have you ever worked in an office with a person who engages with the world in a different way?  From a chair?  Through sign language?  Who cannot see?

This made me think, how different would our world be if included all people at the table, regardless of how they engage with the world?  But, you will have to wait for Part III of this blog for my final thoughts :)  Thanks for reading and enjoy struggling with the questions this raises for you.

Power and Privilege Part I

While being a foreigner abroad, it is hard to miss how incredibly privileged I am simply because of the shade of my skin, country into which I was born, and the life I am able to lead mainly thanks to my parents.  Really, it makes me thankful for all the ways the Universe conspired to make me, me.  Over the past ten months in particular, I have been spending a lot of time looking at and thinking about power in this strange world in which we live.  In a world where far too often the few with power and privilege are making decisions for everyone, where fear and hatred seem to be running rampant in defense of the existent power structure, where the worth of some human beings seems to be placed much higher than the worth of others, I felt the need to share some of what I have experienced and learned.

Many of you know last year I traveled to Australia with a Cambodian colleague.

 

Proof :)

 As a US Citizen, my visa application was simple - less than one page of information.  The cost was minuscule and the application was approved almost instantly.  For the time being, my country has a decent, though some argue deteriorating, reputation internationally.  Thus, by carrying that little blue book, I am viewed as a non-threat, an asset visiting the country.  In contrast, my Khmer colleague's tourist visa application was equally as extensive as applications that I once filled-out for people looking to permanently immigrate to the USA.  It was pages and pages of information about him and his family.  Additionally, we had to attach about a half dozen support documents and explain away a number of discrepancies.  You see, the Khmer alphabet does not have a standard phoneticization like pinyin in Chinese.  Therefore, when different agencies issued documents, the English spellings varied on a number of the documents.  Thus, we had to list that he had used multiple names.  Not because he had aliases or participated in nefarious activities, just because translations were spelled differently (from my limited experience with immigration law, I know this is a red flag).  Additionally, when issuing one of his IDs the authorities printed the wrong birth date.  He was responsible for paying to have this fixed.  In Cambodia, this is a non-issue, apparently, because it is so common.  Thus, the discrepancy was not remedied until he needed to apply for this visa to travel internationally and we had to get documents changed.

His application took me nearly two hours to complete, as a native English speaker with a very good understanding of immigration documents.  A Khmer colleague assisting to interpret for the parents told me it would have taken him at least a day to complete this form, as he is unfamiliar with the lingo and documents.  Following the application being submitted, my colleague had to report at a certain time to be fingerprinted.  Then, we waited to see if the application was approved.  I should also mention, it cost more than three times the cost of my application (even though my stipend, as a volunteer, is more than three times his monthly salary).  These things really hit me.  I am an immigrant to Cambodia.  That alone is a privilege.  Many immigrate or try to migrate to other countries every year so they can feed their family, be safe from war, provide their children with a childhood free of violence, and so many other reasons,  yet, these very legitimate reasons are often not accepted while those coming from places of privilege and power can easily travel or relocate.  It should be noted, I would have been more likely to overstay my Australian visa than my colleague.  Australia had lovely trees and gelato, he was freezing the whole time and missed good rice...

For me, ability to travel (or not) is something I notice but I have encountered differences in power dynamics closer to home as well.  Here there have been a  number of situations where my cultural beliefs on power and privilege clash very strongly with the Cambodian cultural norms of power.  There is an organization called VBNK that does capacity development in Cambodia and has put out a number of amazing resources.  In one short paper called "Working in Cambodia" they talk about how in Cambodia "might prevails over right: whoever holds the power is right and good."  In comparison to the USA approach, "The use of power should be legitimate and is subject to criteria of good and evil."  While I actually think might prevails in the USA far more than we choose to admit (look at the power of money in lobby groups), the idea of this distinction is definitely true to me.  If I examined this and wrote my own statement of how the world should work it would be say, "The greater good should be the measuring stick not the 'mightier good' because this inherently implies a judgement upon some people having greater human dignity and worth." (Sadly, I don't run the world, though it may interfere with my sleep schedule). So, why has this been bubbling to the surface a lot lately?

One example is that some content was placed on an internet site without the permission of a number of my colleagues and the language used was rather offensive (FYI - Deaf Dumb and "mutes" are not acceptable ways to describe people who are Deaf).  Since my organization was mentioned, and as the communications person who monitors these things, I went to talk with the person responsible to explain why we were uncomfortable with the situation and ask the content be removed (I felt I did this in a rather culturally competent way, not wanting to make anyone lose face).  And, I even tried to explain in such a way that the person would understand if others saw this the person who posted it would lose face, so really we were on the same side and I was here to help (ha!).  I forgot a couple of key things.  One, logic as I know it is a cultural construct that is not universal.  Two, might wins.  To save myself from being re-traumatized let's just say government connections and names were dropped constantly throughout the conversation and the offensive content is still up.  The rights of a marginalized group are of less value than government connections.  Here, government connections mean right. Again, I do not want to say this is universal, as many, many of my colleagues and Khmer friends are equally irked by this but unfortunately, that is the norm under which we must operate.


Power and Privilege - much of which is inherited, luck, or a great confluence of circumstances  - really do seem to dictate the experience of the world for everyone else.  May we take time to question and examine those stereotypes and structures that oppress many for the benefit of the few.  Since the only things we can control are our own thoughts and actions, may we each strive to develop ourselves in a way which makes us more aware of the dignity of others we pass along the way.

Vietnam Adventures

  

While not formally a part of my 'ministry' as a Maryknoll Lay Missioner, my recent trip to Vietnam was a good reminder that we are all called to minster to one another regardless of where we are.  And, sometimes that can mean taking people an a trip.  Last month, thanks to some Cambodian holidays, I had a chance to visit Saigon, Hanoi, and Halong Bay with three of my colleagues. Over a year ago, my former boss said, "You should consider getting together a group of staff to go traveling because many will not go without a guide."

Due to my love of planning travel adventures and inability to say no, I decided I might as well be the Mama Duck for a group of wanderlust souls. The group ended up being smaller than we had planned, but we had a blast!


Saigon

On our first night in town, I got to have a huge bowl of Pho! Normally, this uses a meat broth and thus is not vegetarian friendly but I was thrilled to find a vegetarian variety. It also just so happened to be Ho Chi Minh's 130^th birthday, so we wandered into a large performance honoring him. It was interesting to experience. Due to some misinformation, we ended up missing the water puppet show we hoped to attend so instead had our own adventure in the park.

Our second day was all about history. I have to admit this is one of the first times I have been to a museum at which the USA is not the good guy. The War Remnants Museum was fascinating and, of course, a wee bit depressing. My two Khmer colleagues knew little to nothing of the war so were really surprised by some of what they saw. Though, I think interpreting things like dioxin and agent orange to Cambodian Sign Language may have meant some information was lost in translation. They say you must understand a meaning to interpret well, so the odds were against my interpreting as I will never understand war.

In the afternoon, we continued our historical adventures to the Cu Chi tunnels. They are a network of underground passageways that were used by the North Vietnamese again the South Vietnamese and Americans. The people originally used them as a place to hide when the military came to take away men for forced recruitment but they later became a place where people would live (complete with kitchens). The people also used them to protect their land, building all kinds of boobie traps with natural materials. At some point during the war, the American troops brought over dogs to try to sniff out the tunnels, as the entrances were easily camouflaged. The people quickly learned that if they put the urine of American soldiers, peppers, or other herbs on the entrance to the tunnels, the dogs would not be able to detect them. Apparently, the urine of the Americans was ok, so the dogs would just move on. The tunnels were also incredibly narrow because the Vietnamese were very small and were also starving so they didn't need the tunnels to be big. The Australians in particular had a whole recruitment movement for slight-built men to join the army and go to Vietnam because they would fit in the tunnels. We had an opportunity to go into the tunnels (we all managed to complete about 70 meters, not the full 170 meters).

It was a little cramped and these tunnels had even been expanded to fit larger people. I was flattered at one point when a tourist told me she wished she understood whatever sign language I was using because she couldn't understand the English of the tour guide but saw that I did. It was overall a fascinating experience.

After our day of war history, in Saigon, we packed our bags to fly to Hanoi.  I realized, once we arrived in Saigon that I had taken something for granted: All travelers know the size restrictions for liquids on planes.  I told my co-workers, you need the small bottles to take on the plane.  To them, small sized meant the 150-300ml bottles instead of the huge family sized bottles.  In an attempt to save their soaps, we searched the markets high and low for travel bottles.  When none could be found, creativity kicked in.

 

And, we all had to drink a lot of yogurt...

Hanoi
 

 

Hanoi's winding, maze-like old district was an absolutely perfect location.  On our first day there, we had scheduled a free walking tour.  These tours are led by high school and college students that are studying English.  They have basic knowledge about different places in a certain area and also are thrilled to have an opportunity to practice English with a foreigner.  We had an opportunity to see some old temples, the market, try a plum of sorts, and visit the turtle lake.  I learned later that legend has it at one point a soldier threw his sword into the lake because he had given up all hope (there was a Romeo and Juliet type situation and an invasion that led to his dismal spirits).  A turtle allegedly took the sword in his mouth and returned it to the owner as a sign that all was not lost.  The turtle apparently just died recently.  The park surrounding the lake is AMAZING!.

 

Among the amazing sights there, we found this guy...

 

We didn't realize that in addition to being in Vietnam for Ho Chi Minh's birthday and elections, we matched our travel to President Obama and Secretary of State Kerry's Vietnam visit.   We didn't see the President but seeing Secretary Kerry was pretty cool.  After living in DC, I have to admit I was amazed at how low security levels were.  Our young tour guide, who was with us, was thrilled to know she had seen someone famous though a little disappointed it wasn't Obama because apparently she is a fan of his.

 

The free walking tour was such a great way to get a more personal feel for the city.  Our young guide, on the right, was very sweet and eager to share about the sights and sounds of Vietnam, as well as her life experiences.  We would highly recommend doing such a tour if you find yourself in Hanoi.

Another high point of Hanoi, which doesn't seem to be on the mainstream tourist circuit, is Lotte Tower (pun intended).  Coming from Cambodia, this may have been the most anticipated activity for my colleagues.  I don't think my Khmer colleagues had been in a building much over ten stories.

 

65-stories with a glass observation deck was a bit mind blowing.  

I had been to something similar to this in Shanghai, though that was 100 floors I believe (shout out to my GEB Students), but standing on glass that high up in the air takes a bit of mental pep-talk time.

 

"That is really high"

 

"You have to do this because other people will follow your lead." 

"What if the glass breaks and I fall 65 floors to my death?"

"I think I may wet myself!"

Once you get over that initial fear and get out on the glass.  It is actually fun to take crazy pictures.  Our group definitely spent at least one hour goofing around up in the sky.  There was no one else in the entire observation area most of the time we were there.

 

Love doing my crazy balance poses anywhere possible :)

Halong Bay

Due to our shortage of time, we took a very quick day trip to Halong Bay (around 8-9 hours in van roundtrip).  We saw the fighting/kissing chickens, though we didn't particularly see the resemblance to chickens...  Just being out among the rock formations, on the water, surrounded by nature... and tourists... was refreshing.  Two of my colleagues got to kayak for the first time in their lives.  It was just a quick paddle in a boat that didn't really seem sea-worthy, but definitely nostalgic for me and exciting for the others.  

My favorite part was definitely the visit to the caves.  I am sorry the photos do not do them justice, but it was just mind boggling to see what nature had created.  Many of the rock formations resembling ice cream likely also contributed to my love of the space...

 

And, this just felt like it should be in Lord of the Rings...

Our short trip was definitely just the minimum of this amazing country but I am so glad I had this opportunity to get to know Vietnam and my colleagues a wee bit better.  It also reminded me how much I love leading and planning trips like this.  So, if you ever need a trip planned, give me a shout :)

 

 

Meditating on Duck Embryos

Cambodia is a gorgeous country in so many ways.  This was the scene a few weeks back as I headed home from work.  Cameras could not capture the beauty of the gargantuan, deep orange sun sinking into the horizon.  Kids were playing soccer in the street with a small, hollow plastic ball.  Some of the adults sat on the curb or on small plastic stools watching the world go by in front of them.  They either chatted with those sitting nearby or would shout greetings to neighbors coming home from work.  Some folks meandered along with their shopping bags from the market holding fresh meat and vegetables for the evening meal.  It is a sight.  In many ways, presence seems to be valued in ways we seem to have forgotten in the USA.  When was the last time you saw people sitting on their stoops, shouting to their neighbors?

All was so tranquil (thankfully, I live on a fairly quiet street and am lucky enough that a few trees still stand).  That evening, as I settled in for some quiet meditation, all was calm.  I positioned myself on a pillow on the floor.  Just sitting there made me start to drip with sweat, "Oh well.  It is like my own private sweat lodge."  I started to try to let the thoughts slip from my mind as I settled down.  As I felt some of the days tension melt away, I suddenly heard a street vendor turn the corner, the loud speakers proclaiming "Hot duck embryos!  Two eggs, 37 cents!  Two eggs, 37 cents!"* 

As I sat, eyes closed, waiting for the noise to subside, I realized, my neighbors were making a purchase because the sound was not moving.  Apparently, all the neighborhood kids must have come running, because there it sat in front of my house shouting about this tasty snack.  I laughed out loud.  Oh, Cambodia.  I guess it is no different than chanting to let the brain slip into a peaceful place.  Though, I am not sure there has ever been a meditative chant about duck embryos...

Speaking of foods that you would not find sold from carts roaming the streets like the ice cream man in my motherland, I had the distinct pleasure of trying a new food recently.  As you know, I am a vege-cultutarian, aka I will give up my vegetarian ways to taste new cultural foods.  Recently at work, my co-workers were eating duck embryos and these little guys... 

 

Mmmmm... Frog leg.  I'm not gonna lie, after eating this, all I was thinking about is how evolved frogs are and that they are the best indicators for changes in the ecosystem.  Their little bodies detect things long before our tough skins ever can.  I was also thinking about all the frog species that have gone extinct due to the changes in climate...

*[Translated from Khmer and into US currency for understanding]