Holding on to Hope

I often tell people, "Life in Cambodia is a lot like life anywhere.  There are good days and there are bad days."  The extremes do tend to be higher and lower.  The good is a grand new adventure and the bad is often wrapped in completely baffling cultural norms that do not translate into an immigrant's lived experience,  the norms with which I have grown-up.  But, there are always those hopes for the future that pull me out of the lows and frustrations and seemingly irremediable challenges.  In the words of Law and Order, these are their stories...

Deaf National Football Team

Challenge: The organization where I work, the Maryknoll Deaf Development Programme, has the vision statement: Deaf people are accepted, respected and included as equal in all aspects of Cambodian society.  While we strive to make that a reality, we face many challenges.  The largest of which is that for years our deaf community and Cambodians who are deaf have had huge limitations on their access to everything, including education.  Therefore, often times, hearing people are the ones leading the efforts (the problem here being that us hearing folks will never be the best ones to lead efforts for deaf people because the deaf people are best at leading efforts for themselves).

Hope: This past year, a group of deaf community members formed the first Deaf National Football Team.  They took the initiative, and despite many challenges, they made it happen and competed in the ASEAN Deaf Football Championship.  They did not win any grand trophy, but they showed to their community that even in a culture that often seems to tell people who are deaf that they can't, YES, WE CAN!

Road clean-up

Challenge: Cambodia struggles with waste management.  I have biked through mini-wind cyclones of plastic bags more times than I care to remember.  My unfounded perspective is that in the past, Cambodians would wrap things from the market in banana leaves (those you theoretically would just throw in the street).  The "new technology" of plastic bags took over long before the new waste management systems came in to being.  Many people honestly do not understand anything about environmental protection. *There are many, many, many other issues going on here as well but keep in mind it is not just people hating the environment.

Hope: The Deaf Community Center where I work, has done multiple workshops and events on recycling and protecting the environment.  They also did a road clean-up last year.  While these one time events are undone within a few days, some of those involved have mentioned it changing their perspectives on throwing trash in the street.  And, it definitely turned heads when a group of deaf people were coming through to clean-up the mess left by others.

Travel

Challenge: When all we see all day, every day, is the same thing, the same perspectives, the same ways of working, we tend to believe that is the only way.  But, when we are immersed in a different approach, we start to see there are multiple paths that all lead to great outcomes.  No one way is the only way.

Hope: Many of my friends and colleagues here save their money for travel or try to find ways to travel, even if just to neighboring Thailand.  Last year, a group of us went to Vietnam on holiday.  It was an amazing experience for me because of the constant, did-you-see-that moments from my colleagues.  Some of the Cambodians I know that are starting to travel come from very simple backgrounds but do everything they can to expand their horizons and learn new perspectives.

Youth

Challenge: There are many factors from governmental to cultural to historical that face my lovely home of Cambodia but...

Hope:

 ...Youth, like my lovely colleague pictured above, bring me so much hope.  This colleague of mine is one of the most selfless people I know, in any country.  She is highly intuitive and uses that to help meet the needs of those around her.  She does not care much about the material and status symbols in life, rather she focuses on how to help those around her be their best selves.  She also strives to improve herself constantly but with the end goal of better being able to meet the many needs of those in her society.  She has to struggle with walking the many fine lines of culture, power, hierarchy, and role that exist here but she doesn't mind the struggle if it is for a greater good.  And, she is not alone, I have met many youth who share her passion and really dump their hearts into the service of others.  In twenty years, these will be the leaders of businesses, government, churches, and communities (or so I dare to hope).

 

Kids

These little ones lead me to hope.  Even if things seem bleak, they are the ones inheriting this world and so regardless of the country where we reside, I think it is important to continue to hope and not get discouraged as a model for them.  The young ones have an amazing way of not getting caught up in the chaos and appreciating that tomorrow will come brighter than today, if we just keep striving for that future.  These little smiles are always a sign of hope to me and just five minutes with one of them gives me the energy to keep on keeping on.

This post is part of Blogging Abroad's 2017 New Years Blog Challenge, week four: Change and Hope.

 

To Be, or to do: that is the question.

She wildly swings her hips, trying to catch the bamboo hoop with each evolution. The more she swings the more recklessly the hoop catapults to the ground. "See, I can't do it," she signs to me. "Try again, but use very small motions." I respond. She tries again and this time the hoop stays around her waist, gracefully swaying, until she decided to stop, letting it fall rhythmically to the ground. While I watched, I couldn't help but think, how much hula hooping is like the challenges I went through coming to a being culture from my doing motherland.


Those who know me will know that I am a chronic-doer. I am rarely not overbooked.

My approach to life:

Give your all.

Attempt to take a time of giving less.

Fail.

Repeat.

A random two days in my life.  And, yes, it is color coordinated by area of my life.

How does this contrast with the norms of Cambodia?
A recent conversation I had with a friend demonstrates the contrast well.  This friend and I were talking about a potential trip to another province for a weekend away.

Karen: "What about date x (four months in advance)?"
Friend (looks at me like I am loopy):  "We'll see when it gets closer."
Karen (an ignorant foreigner): "But, if it is not on my schedule now, it will not happen because I am already booking that far out."
Friend (rolls his eyes and laughs)
Karen (with semi-feigned exasperation): "Why is it that Cambodians can't plan in advance?"
(Note: I have known him for three years and so I know this question will not offend him.  I would never ask something that directly of a stranger in a culture not my own but he and I have a relationship of straight shooting questions).
Friend:"Why would we? If you are free, you are free. If you are busy, than you can't have that experience. If the time comes and you don't have the money, you just don't do it."


You are where you are with what you have and that is it. For those of you reading this, coming from a doer culture, this sounds crazy to us. Why don't you just plan? Make your reality? Make your future? But, this also leads to making a whole lot of stress... Something many of my Cambodian friends see clearly and find baffling.


Within a being culture, such as I have encountered in Cambodia, people know the word rest.  I joke with people here that I know rest (using the one of three words for know that means to have knowledge of something) but I don't know rest (using the word to know how to do something).  For me, 'rest' means I am not in the office and I have a break in time for my own projects - blogs, grocery shopping, making food, catching up with friends, exercise, showering, normal stuff.  My colleagues see it differently.  When talking with a Cambodian colleague about what I did on my days off, the colleague simply responded, "No wonder you always look so tired and old."

A few times in my life, I have been included in Cambodian 'rest' (because I knew the offer would come so I put it on my calendar months in advance and then when the invitation arrived one day before, I was already packed). For those friends, rest literally is doing nothing. Sitting and doing nothing. Maybe laying on the floor and doing nothing. Maybe talking with people, but doing nothing. It is very impressive to me, and something I should follow more for the good of my own mental health. 


This all brings up the big question, how do we reconcile these two ways of existing, that seem to clash, in a world where the different ways of being will continue to have more and more contact? And, this is where the hula hoop comes in (at least for me).

As a person who longs to do better at just being... I strive to follow the lead of my Khmer country-mates. To be OK without a schedule that goes out six months. To be OK with space in my life that can be empty or filled depending on the whim of life or the needs of those in my life. To be able to finally really know the word for rest. To be able to accept not everything must be means to an end. It is a balance of small but intentional movements that keep us spinning through life. If we try to do, do, do our erratic convulsing will send the whole thing plummeting to the ground (sooner or later). Likewise, if we just stand there, the hoop will never rise to full potential. But, if we do slowly and intentionally while also being present, we can keep on spinning indefinitely.

This post is part of Blogging Abroad's 2017 New Years Blog Challenge, week three: Cultural Differences.

 

Debunking Five Myths about Cambodia

Myth: Cambodia?  That's in Latin America, right?
Um... Nope.  You are thinking of Colombia.  This was probably the most common confusion when I was moving to Cambodia.  Cambodia is actually in S.E. Asia nestled between Thailand, Laos, and Vietnam.  It is approximately the size of the US state of Missouri.

Myth: Cambodia = Khmer Rouge
That is the Khmer Rouge place, right?  If people know of Cambodia, often what they associate is the Khmer Rouge.  Yes, the Khmer Rouge did control the country from 1975 until 1979. A civil war continued within the country for years following and the 'Peace Agreements'  were not reached until 1991.  At that time, the country began to open up to western NGOs, business, etc.  Those years are still very present in the minds of many people and the rates of PTSD in the country are exceptionally high.  The Maryknoll Mental Health project, under the same umbrella organization with which I serve, has assisted in some studies of the topic and Cambodia has been highlighted as one of the few places third generation PTSD has been seen (this means the people who directly suffered the PTSD pass the tendencies on to the next generation who then pass it on to a third generation). While I have no expertise in this area, it seems the effects of this terrible regime are still felt today as many never received any treatment or techniques for processing.  That being said, Cambodia and Cambodian people are so much more than just these few years in their history. (Source: Cambodia's Curse; Three years of osmosis...)


Myth: Angkor Wat  is the only thing to see in Cambodia

First of all, Angkor Wat is just one ancient temple in a huge complex - plus many other scattered throughout the country of Cambodia.  Second, there are many, many other things to see and do in Cambodia, in Siem Reap alone you can also see an amazing circus, a cultural village, the floating village, night markets, and water falls.  Each different province has interesting sites to see from the Irrawaddy dolphins in Kratie to traditional dance performances at the national museum.  So, if you only see Angkor Wat or only see Siem Reap, you are missing out on all this tiny country has to offer.

Myth: It is so DANGEROUS!
You are 52.63% less likely to be murdered in Cambodia than in the USA according to Ifitweremyhome.com.  The most common crime in Cambodia is bag snatching.  It is a crime of opportunity and if you are cautious and aware, your chances are fairly low to be the victim of a bag snatching.  There is very little random violence. The biggest risks to your safety, in my opinion, are dehydration or traffic accidents.


Myth: What an underdeveloped place
When I moved to Cambodia, many people seemed to think I would be living in relative squalor.  In fact, I am blessed with a clothes washing machine, a one-shower hot water heater, running water, WiFi, electricity that works 99% of the time, an air condition unit I can use if I want to pay the high electricity bill, and so many other amenities that we take for granted in my home country.  Within walking distance, there are about a half-dozen pizza places and a burger joint or two.  Sure, there is a stinky ditch aka open sewer a few blocks from my house, but other than that and the air pollution, you could forget you are not in my home state of Oregon (if you are in the house...)  Outside the city many people live much as they have for centuries (with the exception of a fare number of smart phones) but it is possible for people to live to the same standards they had in their USA/Australia/European homes for a fraction of the price.  And, there are many local folks that are dedicating their lives to seeing improvements in the lives of their fellow-country(wo)men. 

So, don't let the 'underdevelopment' and danger deter you from paying us a visit and seeing all we have to offer!  Just make sure you don't get on a plane to Latin America...


This post is part of Blogging Abroad's 2017 New Years Blog Challenge, week two: The Danger of a Single Story.

Cornucopia of Culture

Do you ever look back at your life or childhood and say, "There were so many signs!"  As a child, one of my favorite book's was Pancho's Pinata.  I remember once asking for this electronic globe for Christmas that had a stylus attached.  When you touched it to a country, it would give you information on that country.  When I was in High School, we joined the Model United Nations and I was responsible for representing Ukraine.  I think I did a terrible job because I kept trying to figure out what would be the solution with the greatest benefit for the most nations and the least negative repercussions, as opposed to worrying about the interests of my own country.  My mindset has long been one that thinks outside the borders of my own country, even back when I was a small waif of child, my influence and effect on the wider world caused me to worry.

Back when I was wee

Fast forward a few countries and a few new languages, and though my perspectives have expanded, that internal motivation is much the same.  I still greatly enjoy pondering solutions to global problems that are cross-culturally relevant and relate-able.  I love seeing cultures come together and figuring out how to make that work.  A few days back, my Vietnamese-Chinese-Texan friend and I walked into an Indian restaurant in Thailand, which had Italian decor, German wall hangings and Spanish music blaring.  We chatted about our friends in Bolivia, El Salvador, and Tanzania, as well as our lives in Cambodia and the struggles of a government that only looks out for the short-term benefit of the few rather than the long-term benefits of the many. I didn't realize at the time, that experience was kind of like a UN meeting with 12 different countries somehow included (13 if you count Texas).  It reinforced for me how interconnected our world has become.  And, I realized how much more fun life is when we have that overlap.  We cannot make decisions in one place without understanding the implications an ocean away and now, thanks to the joy of the internet, we may see the repercussions. 

Embracing the cultural traditions of Cambodian weddings

As I begin to prepare to leave my Cambodian home of three years, I have been reflecting on all the places I have lived and the people who have been my home.  It is reassuring to me in those moments that it is not my residence that makes me a global citizen but an approach to life that has been coursing through my veins long before I could name it.  The anxiety that comes with trying to consider the implications of our actions far beyond any man-drawn lines on a map is definitely outweighed by the beauty of knowing our positive mark on the world can be felt around the globe and, more than ever before, we have the opportunities to learn from the whole cornucopia of cultures this planet has to offer.  As my friend James joked, "We will be the first in line for the Global Citizen passport."  One that I think would be the equivalent of a globally recognized TSA pre-screening pass.  May we all take advantage of this moment in time that provides us the opportunity to see beyond the walls of our immediate reality.


This post is part of Blogging Abroad’s 2017 New Years Blog Challenge