Likely as you read those lines, you have some kind of gut reaction. For many, counseling is so stigmatized that just reading those words causes us to want to change the subject. I have long wondered why such a stigma? Why do we feel we must be invincible and able to handle it all on our own, all the time? We accept that we should see a dentist to keep our teeth in good shape, why not see someone to keep your mind and heart in good shape? Those are harder to live without than teeth.
I became a full believer in counseling almost two years ago, thanks to Saint Kristina, as I call her. I started going to Kristina because I felt every day a new mental health problem was walking up to my desk and my own well-being was suffering. An obscene number of Cambodians have suffered some kind of major trauma and as an empathetic person, who has far to many conversations with people that start, "I don't usually tell people about this..." I was daily hearing of trauma. From abuse (mental, physical, sexual, emotional), neglect, poverty, hunger, war to the ex-pat challenges of burn-out, compassion fatigue, culture shock, depression, I felt like I could barely keep my own head above water because of all the secondary emotional baggage being thrown my way - there was no time to deal with my own issues. My body was breaking down. I was constantly exhausted, overwhelmed, and feared becoming that 'angry ex-pat' (if you have ever lived abroad, you will understand this. Basically, it is someone who is so burnt-out and has lost most of their ability to interact positively with others. They tend to be jaded, unhappy, stressed, and highly critical). I had previously heard all counselors and social workers were required to see a counselor of their own and so I decided since I was counseling so many others, I needed to get my own counselor to keep myself from further breaking down. This gave me my justifiable reason for taking care of myself. You can psychoanalyze that later...
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| This lady sees a counselor |
So, why write this now? Over the past couple of years, I have become more and more outspoken about the benefits of counseling and I thought it was about time I put it on The Life and Love of Karen, since it is one of my loves. I have watched many loved ones fight to overcome mental health challenges (some on their own) and if I can get just one more person to seek help so they can overcome their mental struggles and function to their highest potential that is an accomplishment. World Health Day, on April 7, was also dedicated to bringing awareness to depression, it will remain their focus for the year as it is seen as one of the leading health issues our world faces. If you happen upon this, and have thought of seeing a counselor but feel you are somehow admitting defeat if you do this, YOU ARE NOT! You are just going to call in the back-up you need to face the next challenge life throws at your face. It is definitely a huge part of why I have been able to make it to 30 without some kind of major crisis.
Counseling, I can truly say, has changed my life for the better. I think of emotional baggage (grief, trauma, stress) like that toiletry with a slow leak in your suitcase. If you don't take it out, it will just continue to slowly soil everything in your bag. You can try to just put the lid on tighter but sooner or later the cabin pressure will change and the leak will continue. If you just pass the bottle on to someone else, it will slowly leak into all of their garments. BUT, if you hand it over to a counselor, they have the ability to help you actually deal with the problem, dumping it out, transforming it, cleaning it up, and making sure, even with the change in pressure, it does not, again, start seeping into your undies.
