Realities of Re-Entry

My human blankets

Often times returning to your own culture is more difficult than adjusting to a new culture.  If I had a dollar for every time someone said that to me in the last six months, I would be a very wealthy lady.  But, there is definitely great wisdom and truth to that statement. When I went overseas, I did my best to observe, try to understand, suspend judgement.  For some reason, coming home, I feel like I have more of a right to be critical of 'my own' culture, which in reality is fairly far from my actual personal beliefs.

What are some of my experiences so far that I find most striking? Here are three!

Living attached to an electronic

Sure, that happens around the world and it happened in Cambodia as well but I did not notice it to the extreme it exists here.  It is a no wonder our mental health issues in this country are soaring.  The only connection we have is to a device, and not one nearly as cute as R2D2.  I have now traveled on the T in Boston, the Subway in NY, and the Metro in DC.  Each one is the same.  On most trains, every single person either has in head phones or is staring at a screen, or both.  I have now been asked for directions in every city I have visited and I honestly think it is simply because I look approachable and don't have an electronic in front of my face.  I also do the unthinkable - smile and say hello to people I pass on the sidewalk. GASP! REBEL!

For your humor, here is my favorite 'directions' story...  I was traveling from Jersey City to Brooklyn to meet a friend.  This time, I, too, was relying on the google map directions on my phone but once on the right train, you can be fairly certain it will arrive at the correct destination.  A few stops away from my destination, a woman approached me and asked if I knew if the train went to K-something or other station.  I said, "I'm not sure." But did the exact thing I find depressing and pulled out my phone to check and let her know she was heading in the right direction.  We then continued chatting and I asked her where she was from (usually when one asks for directions, they are visiting the area).  Her reply, "Brooklyn."

Exhaustion

Now this is a recognized result of re-entry but my gosh, I could sleep constantly.  If I go out of the house for more than a few hours, I come home and need to just sleep it off.  I think I just find it all so overwhelming.  Yes, those of you who visited me can laugh at this, since Phnom Penh traffic was enough to overwhelm most but that was my normal. Here, just trying to make conversation with people is exhausting because I don't understand many of the cultural references or events they are discussing.  Plus, I can understand everything that is being said around me.  Before, it was easier to tune out.  I also tend to have a drastically different perspectives than most.  Again, I was definitely not fully a part of Cambodian culture, but I am no longer a part of the USA culture either.

FEAR

People are so afraid.  This one is really hard to describe but in Cambodia, a country that has a government that does not protect the people, where my average friend suffers more traumatizing events in a week than most folks here suffer in a year, where the environment itself can be a daily enemy, where nothing is certain, people have either become desensitized or have just come to embrace it.  I wrote in a previous blog about how my friends there taught me to live through my fear instead of letting it dictate my life and my wish and prayer for this country is that we can learn to do the same.  That fear and worry can be used to fuel creativity and new solutions to old problems, but only if we can get past it enough to act.  As a wise man once said, "We have nothing to fear but fear itself."


Extra Credit
Here are a few other thoughts that have run through my head since returning, in no particular order:
1. "Did she forget to put on pants?" Your bum cheeks should not be hanging out of your shorts. Between working with religious folks and living in a relatively conservative culture, clothing wise, my jaw drops daily at the clothes people wear out of their homes.
2. "Um, no wonder food here is 3xs the cost of Cambodia.  These serving sizes are three times what you need to eat in one meal."
3. "Wow, Metro prices haven't increased in four years."
4. "I can breath."
5. I still can't stand close to the edge of sidewalks, someone might drive on them.
6. "Ooops."  There are traffic signals in this country and you are supposed to follow them.
7. "Doggy that won't give me rabies!"
8. "This country is freezing."
9. "This country is so diverse."
10. "There are signs that tell you where things are and label the streets... CRAZY!"
11. "Only 2.5 more months until I am supposed to feel like I belong here."