Photos of the week and a week of photos

For the past week, my life has really revolved around photos.  Both taking them and using them.  

First let me give you my photos of the week.  I am really trying to improve my photography skills and my sports photography has definitely gotten better.  As I have shared before, I spend a lot of time photographing soccer.  Below is possibly my crowning glory.

Thanks to that goalie for making this photo possible.

And, with slightly more editing, this is how a Filipino, an Englishman, a Costa Rican and a Cambodian celebrate the goal of the smallest member of the team.

I also get to play a bit of soccer these days.  Our Deaf Amazons, women's football team, has a tournament coming up next month, so we get together every Sunday for a practice game.  I can handle every part of this game except the whole kicking the ball into the goal thing...

This  past week, I also photographed an event on LGBT-Christian relations.  It was organized by a fellow Maryknoll Lay Missioner and had a great turn out!  This is my favorite photo.  His shirt says, I am who I am in Khmer.  In door, low-light photography is definitely a challenge given the caliber of my camera but I am learning.

In addition to being on-call to take many photos, this past Saturday I was the co-curator of a photo exhibition (featuring the photos of people far more skilled than I).  This was a lesson in having faith.  I am a logistics worry-wort.  I over-analyze everything, think and rethink and really constantly need a team with which to share ideas.  There are back-up plans for back-up plans.  An attendee spontaneously bursts into flames, yup, probably had a plan for that... 

You can check out the online version of the exhibition below.

Stretching for your amusement

It is only through stretching that one can become more flexible. And, in the real world sense, I think that means, what would I do if I wasn't afraid of failure? So, do it. This is a question I often ponder, and I know I have shared on this blog before. I am a naturally-anxious, recovering-perfectionist with a strange obsession for constantly trying to stretch and meet my ‘fears,’ which is probably a good thing otherwise I would move to a hermitage and never leave, as almost everything scares me. Today was no exception.

Per usual, on a Monday, the day was rather packed with meetings. The first of which was our staff meeting (I know, terrifying). This occurs weekly and involves updates about the work of the different projects, changes to laws that affect our work, and whatever other randomness pops up. The meetings are in Khmer with Cambodian Sign Language interpretation and are a great opportunity for me to improve my vocabulary in both languages. I often jot down new words while, of course, paying close attention to every detail being shared... Or something like that...

Generally, Fr. Charlie (Director), interprets from CSL into English for the staff who do not understand Khmer or CSL to a level that allows them to participate. BUT, today, he was not there and we had a new volunteer-staff member from Australia who had limited-proficiency in both those languages. Thus, the first words out of the co-director’s mouth were, “Karen, will you translate to English, please.” *Now imagine a semi-truck, with an extra trailer is plummeting down a dark road, in a terrible monsoon, right toward an angelic deer that happens to have my innocent face*

That was kind of what that experience felt like.  Thankfully, most staff speak slowly enough, and I know their speech patterns so I can understand about 80% of the Khmer (not always the 80% that leads to understanding the point, but, you do what you can). With the Cambodian Sign Language, I was able to fill in a whole lot of the rest. BUT, I now understand why it is typically advised to have multiple interpreters for anything over about 20 minutes of interpretation. I felt a bit like that semi-truck had dragged me for a while by the time the 45 minutes were up. As a child, I once considered learning to be an interpreter. Sweet goodness, I don’t know if I have that stamina, at least not for simultaneous interpretation.

Then, just 1.5 hours later, I had already told a friend I would interpret for an interview in English/Cambodian Sign Language. Again, at the time, it seemed like a good idea. We have a great set of interpreters on our staff but English is a real challenge for them, so my burgeoning CSL seemed stronger than their English. The first 20 minutes, I did ok (meaning I did better than your average chimp not trained by Jane Goodall). Unless I had to finger spell. If you have never seen a native signer finger spell in American Sign Language, google it. Prepare to have your mind blown.

My fingers knot-up when I try to spell and despite my home school-roots, this kid couldn't win a spelling bee unless I was the only bee. If my ability to spell is at a notably low level, my ability to understand finger spelling sunk to depths that would have been melted by magma. My exploded-brain was oozying from my ears in a pathetic puddle of failed gray mush by the end of the hour and a half.

After scraping my pile of mush up, unceremoniously shoving it back between my ears, apologizing for my inability to spell, I went for a relaxing lunch...  With three co-workers...  All speaking Khmer... At which point, I was again humbled by my inability to understand the conversation of three native, slang speaking Cambodians. We compared experiences of being in our young twenties, dorm-life, etc. All of which I have no vocab to express.

I am pretty sure I would have ended up in traction had I been stretching anything but my mind to such a degree. But, I have heard the only way for the muscles to get stronger is for little tears to form and heal. Right?  By the time the large lacerations of challenge and humiliation in my mind recover, I am going to look like a bobble-head or the presidents that run around the bases at the Nationals baseball games…

Life is a series of moments

About 72 hours ago, I returned to Cambodia.  It sort of feels like I was never gone (only I am far more rested, 1kg heavier - thanks cheese- and feeling refreshed).  Just a short commercial break from the reality TV show that is my life.  These are a few throw-back photos from some of the moments during my time in the USA. 

Thank you to all the friends and family who made an effort to see me while I was in town and please don't be strangers.  Being overseas can be a bit isolating at times and your messages, emails, VISITORS, etc. mean a lot to me.  Now for a few moments from my trip!  (Let's pretend I realized I should iron my skirt, ok?)

Look at that sky!  Sporting Cambodian wedding attire at the Oregon Coast before a church talk.

With Fr. Larry at Rockaway, St. Mary by the Sea parish saying the final blessing.  This man is a true inspiration and a perfect example of what a spiritual leader should be.  The parish was so warm and welcoming.  Thanks to all of them and Eileen for making this moment possible.  Note - at the second mass, Fr. Larry asked me, on the spot, to do a final blessing in Khmer.  Thankfully, no Khmer speakers were present.

This was one of my favorite speaking engagements.  Riley's class had the most inquisitive four year olds.  Thanks to Riley's mom for the invite.  These munchkins managed to stay focused for around 45 minutes and had loads of questions.  Most importantly they wanted to know why people eat spiders because that is "gross."  We had a little side lesson on how different people eat different things.  Many people think that the food we eat is gross (ask some foreigners what they think of peanut butter).  In good news, I managed not to kidnap any of these little cuties ;)

Definitely another favorite, Alli's 2nd grade class.   You can see they were thrilled about their Cambodian Riel.  Maybe someday they will remember this moment and also choose to travel overseas, learn of new cultures and ways of life.  They even learned some Khmer and Cambodian Sign Language.  Of course, their favorite word was two.  Why?  Because in Khmer the word for two is 'pee' 

Many of you will probably not appreciate this without an explanation.  While at home, I spoke at my Grandpa's United Methodist Men's group.  As usual, while we were setting up, I snooped around at everything hanging on the walls.  While, yes, I agree, we should love each other this caught my eye because the second language, at the bottom is Khmer.  No one in the group realized their church had something displayed in Khmer.  Made my day :)

This is my biggest fan and scheduler of multiple speaking engagements.  AKA Grandpa :)

For those living in Portland, you should definitely check out Turnt Up Cup!  It is an awesome coffee cart on Alberta right across the street from the co-op.  I had something called... I think it was a Chai fog?  Basically, Chai latte.  Only better.

And, I had a Philly pretzel at Reading Terminal Market.  I was told this is a Philly thing to do.  So, when in Rome...

And, then I went to heaven.   My sister and bro-in-law heard if this place, Max Brenner, as a great place for chocolate lovers.  I resisted the urge to break open that pipe and dance in the sweet goodness.  It is probably actually a cleverly disguised sewer pipe...

They did have the best invention ever.  It is an ice cream bar that constantly has the chocolate crunchy goodness on the outside!  You just dip it into the liquid chocolate and into the toffee pieces or crunchy things.  Genius.  Pure Genius!

For those who have never been to Oregon, clearly, it is the most beautiful place ever.  Not the best picture as it was captured from a moving car as we crossed into Washington, but you get the idea.  This place was definitely hard to leave.

Culture Shock

In January, I returned to Bangkok for our annual Maryknoll retreat (held in Hua Hin, Thailand).  I remembered, just 12 short months before when I first arrived in the region, thinking everything was so chaotic, loud, busy, overwhelming.  There were overwhelming smells, trash carelessly tossed aside, and a visual cacophony of color.  My senses were assaulted from every direction.  On this return trip, I arrived to Bangkok at night and went straight to my friend Carly's apartment.  I was struck immediately, even at night, with how orderly everything seemed to be.  Cars only traveled in one direction on each side of the street.  There were stop lights, which people actually followed. Everything was so organized.

Returning to the USA this past month was a whole new level of shock to the system.  Grass is striking.  There are small swatches of expertly manicured, more turf than natural-looking lawn in Cambodia but nothing like the suburbs of Oregon where fields grow wild and free.  The first night as I laid down to sleep the silence was astounding.  No fan clicking away, no roosters from the cock fights down the street, no dogs barking, motos whizzing past, bugs, frogs, and geckos chirping.  And, it was cool.  Blankets were a requirement instead of a dream from the past while being in a present where the only blanket I longed for was one made of snow.

Carpet is amazing.  I have slept on the hard wood floor of my village house a number of nights, convincing myself the woven mat which is my bed provides more than enough padding for my ever bonier hips.  I don't even need a bed here in the US.  Just give me a swatch of cloud made of braided fibers and laid over a pad on the floor.  So plush!

The biggest shock to the system was... toilet seats.  Let's just say, I now understand the carpet toilet seat covers that went our of style before I entered this world.  My house never really drops below 80-85 degrees Fahrenheit, neither does my toilet seat...  Here in the great USA, toilet seats rarely reach such a heavenly temperature and to my now celestial hind parts, 60 degree toilet seats were a real shock.  I may have squealed and jumped-up at my first USA throne experience.  These are the things they don't prepare us for when re-entering our native culture.

Traffic is another major shock.  First of all, cars move so fast.  'Normal' USA driving seems absolutely reckless to me, because speeds like that are rarely reached in Cambodia.  When I go for a run, cars stop and wait for me from a block away.  The very first morning I ventured out, a car literally backed-up so I could run in front (it could have turned and been half way to Cambodia before I even reached the crosswalk but, clearly, the driver was a poor judge of speed).  Crosswalks are also mind boggling.  In Cambodia, many of us expats will often talk about how problem solving and thinking outside the box are not common characteristics.  The education system focuses on memorization and society reinforces the belief of falling in line and doing what you are told.  But, at least Cambodians are able to cross a street without a little white flashing man to tell them it is ok to walk.  Your average Cambodian can judge the speed of cars, motos, and bikes with their miscellaneous wares strapped to the top all while having a conversation and carrying the entire day's produce - oh, and dodging a potentially rabid dog, that is key.

But, in the USA, I have been able to put my own critical thinking to good use with this little challenge set-up by my sister and brother-on-law.  I think I was successful.

Land Rovers

Try as I may, I will never fully be a part of this culture. Which one doesn't belong? (This happened completely by accident, but, we thought it was worth documenting)


Daily I am reminded of that fact. If one more person honks at me, warning me to get out of the way, as they drive head on down MY lane, I may start carrying raw eggs to throw at their windshields. Sometimes meeting the culture where it is at is not so easy. This is just one of many DAILY culture clashes I am coming to notice. If I am well rested, well fed, in no hurry, with no where to go and no where to be, I can be a patient person approaching the culture with an anthropological eye. BUT, when was the last time all those environmental factors aligned? More often than not, I am suppressing the urge to throw eggs at Land Rover of this new culture.


One approach that proves to be a help is trying to see each challenge through fresh eyes, meet this Lexus as if it were the first over-sized car on an undersized road I have had to face. There are some folks that have recently crossed my path that helped me approach each moment as a new one.


As a part of my work, I was responsible for these two great volunteers from Australia.

They were here for two month as a part of their studies and we spent a fair amount of time together. They had not yet lost that sense of wonder at the things tied to the back of motos, nor their patience with the "dysfunction" by western standards. And, if they did, I realized I was the one jumping to the defense of the Cambodian Way. It is so much easier when someone else is watching to behave myself.


Impartial eyes have also kept me going.

 This lovely lady came to visit all teh way from the USAwhen I was feeling a bit overwhelmed and like I might as well just crash head-on into the Land Rover, then they would learn their lesson. It was good to have the reminder that perhaps I should remember that just walking out the door is a stressor on the system – the noise, dust, cacophany of colors and other visual stimulants, and the constant challenge of speaking another language - I guess after a year I would have figured I was past that. Yet, just as every time I step outside a new vehicle comes pummeling toward me, so does a new variation on an old cultural challenge. It takes a visiting social worker to remind that culture shock may not come right away and may be a reoccurring issue.


Fortunately, when my personal counselor left me, a group of new eyes arrived in the form of the Maryknoll Lay Missioners Friends Across Borders participants. (Pictured below with all the Maryknoll Missioners in Cambodia)

For two weeks, they showed the same awe and inspiration I felt when I arrived for how far this country has come after being decimated just 40 years ago. They showed that child-like amazement for the things I had come to find normal. It was a great reminder that there is humor, joy, and a lesson to be learned even in playing chicken with the Land Rovers of a new culture.

Happy Anniversary!

One year ago today (ish, depending on what time zone you are in), I left the United States of America and departed on this chaotic Cambodian adventure.  I traveled for way too many hours, with way too many delayed flights and snafus, I basically didn't have a January 3rd or 4th, yet somehow made it here.  While doing my annual holiday cleaning (wish I had the before and after photos to show you how chaotic my room had become),  I happened upon this self-evaluation on anticipation and expectations of mission.  I thought I would share some of them with you (and, it is scary how well I actually understood what I was getting into on this adventure and also how naive I was)...

For the positives, I was looking forward to learning a new language.  And, that still holds true.  I have even been lucky enough to learn two new languages (Cambodian Sign Language and Khmer).  Plus, thanks to some great friends...

Including these lovely ladies

I have been able to speak Spanish more here than my last year in DC.  My American Sign Language is getting a brush up (read as: I have forgotten or confused almost all my ASL but am now starting to relearn some) and, thanks to French visitors, I am again getting practice reading and listening in French (though, will still never claim any knowledge of this language, unless I have Google translate close by).

I also said I looked forward to stretching myself to learn a new culture and try new and different things...  On good days, I still enjoy that.  Though, there are definitely times I want to scream (usually when the culturally acceptable way of driving is involved).

My co-worker Makara preparing Ambok.  It is basically dried, pounded rice that you mash a banana into and eat.  Interesting experience.  

Part of the wedding crew.  Definitely a new cultural experience.

Another thing I was super excited about was sharing this experience with all of you!  Honestly, the hardest part has been figuring out what is worth sharing when I sit to blog.  I truly could not have made it through all the challenging times without the emails, messages, texts, skype-dates, and of course...

all the 'love letters' that you all gave me before leaving the USA to bring over here.  Many times these have motivated me in tough moments.  I just need to reach into the drawer and find a little message from a friend (I have about 1/3 of them yet to be opened)

Now for the challenges, these crack me up.

My biggest worries were:

1. Missing important events at home (well, four weddings and a funeral and counting, but life goes on)

Attending Grandma's funeral via Skype.  Now I just need to attend a wedding by Skype!  Or a birth...  That'd be exciting ;)

2. Physical injury/damage or loss of property (knock on wood, it wasn't worth the worry)

3. Inability to adapt - well, I can't really judge that but I think I am doing ok.

What will you miss most:

1) Freedom of movement (true, true, true!  Every invitation involves thinking: Do I bike? Will it be dark when I come home? Do I need to call a tuktuk?  Should I have the tuktuk wait?  Can I just walk out my door without people staring?!?!?! ;))

My co-workers were worried I would melt in the rain... So they gave me rain gear to borrow.

2) Ability to run

Half Marathon, baby!  Great to run at Angkor Wat.  Though, this may be the last run in the country so I can stop with this....

No caption needed

3. My people (Amen to that, though, the upside is all of y'all visiting and all my new 'people')

4. Cheese/food diversity (I plan to eat the entire month I am home, cheese is an essential part of every meal I have requested)

5. Wilderness (YES)

This brief trip to Mondulkiri just wasn't long enough...

Looks like Oregon!

And, these were my favorite... things you will miss least (aka things I thought I could escape).  How naive I was!

1. Constant connection (ha.ha.ha.)  I think I am on a computer more now than ever before.  It is my job to keep people connected, plus I am now keeping in touch with family and friends only through my computer.  I make phone calls through my computer. I text through my computer.  For the first time in my life, I feel like I am missing my third arm if I am away from my computer for more than six hours.  Yikes!

2. Being sized up for accomplishments, marriages, babies, etc. (please repeat your laughter).  Well, the DC "What does your business card say, then I will decide if I want to talk to you" is not so much here but I don't think I have gone one week without being asked, if I am married, why I am not married, when will I be married, etc.  My favorite is when this is followed with listing all the reasons they see that I should be married (usually starting with physical features and characteristics like I am very polite, and kind).

3. Consumerism - the green monster of greed and envy exists everywhere.

4. Self-centered lack of awareness of the world (aka Taylor Swift attracts more attention than famine or drone attacks).  This one sadly is true worldwide.  In Cambodia, actual world news coverage is even less than in the USA so if it is not trending on Facebook, it is not in the collective conscious. Though, I would still argue, here it is a bit better than the US, as here information is not as available where as in the US it is often ignored.

5. Feeling the need to conform to some societal expectation... Conform?  What?  I have always had this dress...

Wedding in the morning.  I feel this caption should read, I want to thank all the little people.  Never realized how 'large' I am until coming here ;)  You can dress her like she belongs, but she will always stand-out.

Christmas in Cambodia

What is it like to celebrate Christmas in Cambodia?  Well, it is kind of like any other day in Cambodia, is the short answer. Because Cambodia is a Buddhist country, Christmas literally is just any other normal day, though Consumerism-Christmas is catching on very quickly.  Some of the Christian NGOs shut down, but for most of us a Maryknoll Lay Missioners, we worked just like any other day.  It was somewhere around 90 degrees Fahrenheit outside, definitely not a white Christmas.

A lot of this happened:

Skyping with the sisters (Courtesy of Sarah B.)

Opening presents with family, not actually on Christmas

It was really like having an out of body experience.  I was watching all the Christmas traditions, listening to the music, seeing the Christmas tree at home but since I wasn't there, it felt like I was peering into a world of which I was not a part.

Some Christmas traditions did carry through.  When I woke up, way too early, on Christmas morning, I watched White Christmas before work (love that movie).  I listened to all kinds of Christmas tunes. I even picked out a Christmas tree (this was for my roommate's Christmas present, she wanted a tree). Though, the tree came home on the back of a moto, sandwiched between me and my very enthusiastic co-worker - who had never before purchased a Christmas tree (sorry, you will have to imagine that sight).

My roommate's tree!

I also decked my own halls.  I decided maybe if I had some decorations, I would feel more festive.

This is my recycled Christmas tree and nativity.  The tree and nativity people are made from toilet paper tubes, Jesus is made from recycled paper, the sheep are from the cotton that comes at the top of vitamin bottles, and the star and crowns are from the wrapper my antibiotics came in....  

There were a couple of moments that actually felt like Christmas.  One was actually a week or so before.  My friend Erin hosted a holiday party at a local restaurant.  Friends from work all gathered and there were Christmas carols, and a holiday photo booth, and even cake with candy cane on top. Many of my Khmer friends in attendance had lots of questions about this tradition of Christmas and it was so much fun to explain and share my traditions.  Maybe if I am healthy next year, I will be able to host my own party and share more traditions.

One good lookin' group

Another moment, that really felt like Christmas, was at Christmas eve mass.  One good thing about being Catholic is that church is basically the same, EVERYWHERE :)  And, I even provided the sign language interpreting for the Christmas songs.  As those who went to St. Pius in OR know, every Christmas, for many years, I would sign the songs at Christmas Eve mass.  Though, in Oregon, I don't think anyone actually relied on my interpreting nor understood much of the sign, they just thought it was pretty.  I am not sure how this tradition started but signing on Christmas Eve this year felt like it really was Christmas (right down to quaking like a shepherd, my insides rolling like the little drummer boy's drum, my legs prancing and pawing, what felt like my heart thumping to an enthusiastic version of We Wish You a Merry Christmas, ;)  you get it, I hate being in front of people).

Interpreting the Psalm (this was the one song for which I had not seen lyrics before and thus had not prepared, I was doing Ok until she sang the word constancy, REALLY?  I couldn't even come up with that word in spoken English) (Courtesy of Miguel)

Father Charlie interpreting the gospel reading/nativity play.  He is awesome, he simultaneously interpreted and said the entire mass.  I cannot tell you how difficult that is to do.

On Christmas day, I worked, had lunch with a friend (nothing says holidays like a fresh mango smoothie), ate watermelon (never done that on Christmas before) and, Maryknoll hosted a Christmas dinner, with many, many guests.  Though, not the normal Christmas, it was a good meal and great conversation.

My one "Christmas picture" from the year with Erin and the Pope (Both looking far more classy than I) (Courtesy of Erin's FB)

More Christmas caroling.  And, the photo that inspired my New Year's resolution to look less pained and like the scream mask in photos (picture courtesy of Fr. Charlie)

The best looking table at dinner.  From left, me, Kila (demonstrating the sign for Facebook), Maria (MKLM), Hang (MKLM),  and Erin. (photo and empty plate courtesy of Fr. Charlie)