Walking on Water

I am a fearful person. I'm scared of spiders, snakes, heights, anything moving fast, large animals, anything unpredictable. I sit with my back to walls if at all possible. The first time I flew on a plane, I left a farewell letter to my friends and family in case I didn't make it back. It was a flight from Oregon to California... You get the picture, things scare me. 

My very best scared face...

When I signed-up to be a Maryknoll Lay Missioner, I definitely had to put some of my fears behind me and step out of the boat just as Peter did in the gospel today. What if something happened at home? How would I communicate not yet knowing the language? Would I be able to do something that was actually useful? What if I didn't like the food? And, the tarantulas, oh the tarantulas.


We had all kinds of training about being the hands and feet of Christ to those where we served, but, for me, it was far more often I who looked up and saw the hand of Christ reaching out in the form of one of my Cambodian friends and colleagues. They are the ones with the great faith constantly telling me, it will be ok or muy muy (which means one by one). Some of them had lived through genocide, all had lived through war, not having food was a reality they had experienced yet they had built a resiliency that was astounding and a faith that could move mountains.


One of my colleagues in particularly comes to mind when I think about great faith. Sandra was a person of little significance in Cambodian Society. She is a deaf woman with very limited formal education. She had grown up with the odds against her. Her father passed away when she was young, because of that her mother could no longer support all of the children and ended up surrendering them to an orphanage so she knew they would not die of starvation and would be safe, not living on the streets. Sandra also had become deaf in a childhood accident so she had no way to attend school, because no one knew sign language and she couldn't hear the teacher. Sandra eventually got connected with a deaf school, though dropped out because the instruction was so poor. After being separated from her mother for years, they were reunited. She also got connected to the Deaf Development Programme where I worked. And, now she supports many of her siblings and her mother. Needless to say, Sandra didn't have it easy but she was the most fearless individual I think I have ever met.


Often times, when I was worried about something that was probably trivial, Sandra would be the one saying, "Oh, here is how we will solve that problem." And, she didn't just reach out and help me to walk on rough waters. A huge part of her daily work was to travel to more remote parts of Cambodia looking for deaf people who had never had the opportunity to attend school. Many of the families we encountered didn't even know the possibilities for their child. They felt that individual's full potential was to plant rice and tend the cows – maybe if they were lucky they could arrange to marry them off but it was unlikely.

One of our amazing outreach workers

When we met many of these deaf individuals, they would hide in fear or try to get away from the attention but Sandra would literally reach out an arm to them. She would use gestures to indicate that she too was deaf. She would try to get them to come sit with her and look through photos of the work we were doing. For many, you would see the connection on their face as they began to understand Sandra was another person who engaged with the world through her eyes not her ears. Many of these individuals would go on to attend basic education with us, receive job training, and start to earn their own livelihood.


For me, Sandra is a real life version of the hands of Christ reaching out to those who are brave enough to step out of the boat. She has no doubt changed dozens of lives for the better with her fortitude, my life included. For all of us, I think we can choose to be the comforting hand to those around us, to serve those both near and far and help them to have the faith they need to perform outstanding feats. We must all reflect, daily, who we will be in this gospel story.  Are we being called to step out of that boat that is our comfort zone?  Or, are we being called to reach out our arms to someone else struggling to walk on water?

This is an adaption of a 'church talk' presented in Shillington, PA on behalf of Maryknoll Lay Missioners, the thoughts and perspectives expressed are those of Karen Bortvedt.