The World Cries With Us

Sometimes, the Universe plays the song you need to hear.

For those that did not yet know, my beloved Grandma passed away this past Saturday.  For those that didn't have the privilege of knowing her, she is the Grandma I often described as a lot like me but with different 'issues' about which she was passionate.  She cooked everything from scratch.  Made the world's best sourdough bread and apricot jam, for some reason that is all I want to eat at the moment but am getting by on cookies and ice cream.  Her "People" were her top priority.  She was passionately committed to the Catholic church and working against issues she found to be injustices.  She had a competitive streak, especially if a deck of cards was involved, that was unmatched.  She was frugal in her own life but generous to those in need and in her support of her people and causes.  Basically, she was pretty awesome.  If anyone would like to join hearts with my family, she was a huge fan of the rosary but any moment of prayer and good vibes would be appreciated on May 3, from 9:30am -11am (ish) they will be having the funeral in Oregon.  Since, I can't be there in person, I am inviting others to also be there in spirit with me and the whole famalam.

So, why do I say the universe plays the song you need to hear?  I was sitting on my floor, reading her obituary, and crying my eyes out with Wallace the stuffed bear (moments ago).  When suddenly, the world started crying with me.  In our 100 plus degree days, these rains are magical on the tin roofs and rare occurrences.  I, literally, went and stood in the road for about five minutes, until I was soaked to the core and every Khmer person that saw me was completely convinced I was insane.  This one is for you, Grandma!

The World Cries With Us (by Karen Bortvedt for Gma)

 Sometimes the lightning slices through your body, imploding your heart, sending pain through every nerve.
And, sometimes, the thunder rattles your bones, shaking you to the very core.
Sometimes the lightning, burns up your every routine and rhythm, your very way of life.
And, sometimes, the world cries with you.


Sometimes, the skies darken, hiding every light and hope.
And, sometimes, the clouds roll in without warning or a chance to run.
Sometimes, the darkness blots out the future and the past, even the flowers shield their face.
And, sometimes, the world cries with you.


Sometimes, the rains crash down, soaking every molecule of your being.
And, sometimes, the deluge leaves you cold and alone.
Sometimes, the rains flood out all you hoped to do and leave you with nothing but washed out memories and dreams.
And, sometimes the world cries with you.


But, sometimes, the sun breaks through those clouds.
And, sometimes, those same rains baptize us to a new way of life.
Sometimes, the downpour will wash away our pain.
Because, we know we are not alone when the world cries with us.

Journey Inwards

This past week (or two weeks), I was away for ten days at a yoga and meditation retreat.  It was the Khmer New Year here which meant things shut down for a while and so I figured it was a good time to journey inwards.  This is some of what I found.


Ok, I didn't find this inside of me.  This was a bit of the six hour bus ride up to Siem Reap (my retreat was outside Siem Reap in a small farming village).  This was filmed specifically for my cousin Zachary who valiantly attempted to teach me the Gangam Style dance at our other cousin's wedding.  Some good tunes were played in my Cambodian bus.  You will notice, the road is a bit rough.  People with money generally fly to Siem Reap from Phnom Penh, thus, no pressure to fix the roads.  But, it was still better than Ghana's Eastern road, to put it in perspective.

So, I digress.  I made my retreat at a place called Hariharalaya which offers 10-day to forever retreats at which folks can learn yoga/meditation and have many opportunities to practice.  They have a very peaceful location in a rural area, though very close to one of the temples on the Angkor Wat tour circuit.  There were trees (mango, banana, coconut, plus others I don't know), oh how I have missed such things.  I stayed in a simple dorm, thatch roof and room for the wind to blow in between the joints.  I would fall asleep to the sounds of hundreds of crickets, geckos, frogs, toads, dogs, and the thumping of the neighbor's sound system.  It was beautiful.  They also served us three vegan meals each day made with all local foods.  That, too, was beautiful.  Foods were not to spicy and relatively simple, as complex foods and spicy foods impact ones body increasing anxiety and decreasing ability to concentrate (you can choose to buy that or not, but as a person whose stomach can't handle complex foods and who feels better not eating meat, it works for me).

Each day, we spent time 'practicing' yoga, meditation, chanting, and working on centering.  I spent three of the days in silence, two without reading and writing attempting to further slow myself down.  Why do all of this?  The theories behind this, in my opinion, is that we are all so rush, stimulated and connected, in today's world especially, and taking time to recenter allows us to have better focus, to be more content and at peace with the way things are, living in the present moment instead of constantly longing for the past or dreaming of the future.

As many of you know, this is far more easily said than done.  On the longest days of meditation and yoga, including my personally added time to increase the amount of stretching and get the most out of my 10-days, it was about eight hours of sitting still or practicing yoga.  HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO SIT UNMOVING FOR 50 MINUTES, at one time, in 100 degree weather with mosquitoes and flies having a party on every bit of bare flesh they can find, without opening your eyes?  :)  Needless to say, at times, it took every ounce of my stubbornness to sit still.

I have yet to master the stilling of my mind, the body was a tough enough task but definitely made me more aware of how much we move in this life.  I also have been reminded how we are conditioned to believe an ability to multitask, getting pulled in multiple directions at once, watching tv, while eating, texting, and having a dinner party is a skill, while I think that constant over stimulation may also be to our detriment (she writes while eating watermelon, checking her email, and contemplating if she should stay up and study more Khmer or just go to sleep).

So, yes, have I been changed for life?  Maybe.  I am trying to continue meditating multiple times each day and am paying more attention to my breathing.  I have noticed my ability to concentrate is stronger than when I left and I internally feel less frantic/anxious.  Part of my embarking on this new path and moving to Cambodia was to become a more patient person, so this is one more tool in my toolbox. *Huh, tool, I know how to say that in Khmer, she thinks as her mind again jumps away from the blog on which she is working*

I leave you with a few photos of the peaceful place I called home for ten days.

 

This was one of three outdoor showers.  It is called the Mango Shower as it is covered by a mango tree.  It was a freshing shower experience!

 

This is the yoga and meditation hall.  Though, when in use it quickly filled with mats, pillows, and around 20-40 people.

 

From my dorm, this was one of the views.  Look at all them trees :)  Notice the hammocks and outdoor sink.

  

There was one swing tied to a tree.  I spent many free moments on that swing.  This was my view.  The fence detracted just a wee bit.  It was fun to watch the world go by my little escape from reality.

 

This is the view from the fence.  Crazy foreigner on a swing :)

 

Sometimes this guy would keep me company, he seemed to live near the swing.  He also liked to sing me to sleep at night. Maybe I should have given him a smooch for his hard work.

 

Nothing profound.  But yet, so profound.  Slowing down to see the flowers.

 

And, the ants.  These ants apparently are very sour.  They are fried up with beef for a specialty dish served regularly at weddings.  I was just impressed with their work ethic.  They also always stopped to greet each other :)

 

I don't know the story of this red bug, but he was pretty cute.  This one was for you Mallory C.!

Critters of Cambodia, AKA my housemates

After you have all seen a bit about my house here, I thought I would share about all those who live in this space.

You already met Tony, the guard dog.

We also share our space with a good number of geckos/lizards/salamanders, I am at a loss for which they are.  Such details of biology are best left to other members of my family.  They range in size from as big as my forearm to little tiny guys.  Here is one of the little guys I caught.  He was hanging out on the floor and I feared he would get smashed, so I moved him to a safe corner. But, first he had a photo shoot.

 

I named this one Lizard-Beth Salamander.  Kudos to all who know what book I was reading when that name came about...

 

  

This is my favorite picture!  You can see all the insides!  This is one of those moments where I said, wow, life is pretty cool.

Then, there are these little guys...  I will give you a hint.  They go marching one-by-one hurrah!

For those who have read One Hundred Years of Solitude, I try not to think about that book while observing these in every part of my kitchen.  I literally have to wash out my teapot every time before I use it as the little buggers seem to now like to hang out in there.  I need to start farming more Lizard-Beths to help with this problem...

And, last, but certainly not least.  When I went to take a shower the other day.  This little friend was hanging out in the window.

 

Hopefully, he had a nice snack of any mosquitoes that happened to wander by the house. As you can see, he was tiny!

Doyc K'nia, Ko K'nia Part II

Back a few weeks ago, I brought you Doyc K'nia, Ko K'nia Part I - highlighting some of the similarities and differences between my old life and my new life here.  Now, I bring you Part II.  I know, this is not going to be nearly as epically awesome as watching my amazing and profound facial expressions as I try to speak Khmer, but, something has to follow that blog post.

First, let's talk about security systems.  In my old house, we had two locks on the door the deadbolt and whatever you call that other one on the knob :)  Clearly, I have some amazing knowledge of locks.  The deadbolt also stopped working about three weeks after I moved into the house and we never used it again for three years.  Our landlord gave us a new one but we never managed to copy the key :)

This is security now:

Oh, and I forgot the most important part.  Tony.

 

This Rasta-Guard dog rocks some awesome dreadlocks and will pretend to like you and then bark like he is going to tear your face off in two seconds.  He actually probably serves his purpose very well.  1) Many people are scared of dogs here.  2) He makes so much noise, he wakes the owners and they investigate.  On one occasion, when I was coming back after some Maryknoll outing, he started barking like he wanted to eat me, and I heard my landlord say, from inside the house, who is it.  As soon as I told him, he told the dog to quiet down.  *Hilarious sidenote, as soon as I started writing this, Tony started barking.

Yes, I think my old dog looks the part:

 

But, she would never be hired because she never barks... That whole running away from everything would also disqualify her.

Ceilings.  How often do you contemplate your ceiling?  Maybe only when you should be sleeping at night.  Well, let me show you my ceiling:

 

If you have skyped with me, chances are you have seen this as it is the first thing I show people :)  This was a French colony back in the day and you can still see that reflected in the architecture.  A few other notes, the high ceiling does help keep the place cooler - yahoo!  I have no idea what we do when the light bulbs need to be changed.  And, we don't use the chandelier, as it sparks a wee bit.

Another difference is the style of microwave.

 

This is how I reheat my food.  Let's be honest, usually I am too lazy to do that and it is hot, so I just eat cold leftovers.

Hope you enjoyed seeing some more of the new parts of my daily life!  Happy Weekend!

Language Learning - Video Style

In honor of my two month anniversary here in Cambodia, I give you this lovely video outlining my joys of language learning.  Many of you have said, "I want to hear you speak! I want to see the writing."  So, I have put in some examples here.  Happy Friday!  Remember, you will never get the next seven minutes back, so I have tried to make them worth your watching.



And, as mentioned in the video, here is the link to my friend Andrew's website.  As you can tell, he is a professional musician, so check out his work!  Little known fact:  the first time I was a cantor at church was with Andrew.  Clearly, one of us possesses far more talent than the other :)

And, the actual price is...

As they say on The Price is Right: And, the actual price is... (I think that is what they say, haven't watched that show in a long time...)  If you didn't yet see the last blog post, take a moment to guess the various prices of these items.

 

Actual price: $1.30  Eggs have, at one store, gone from $1.10 when I arrived to $1.30.  And, the extra bonus points to those who realized eggs here are not sold by the dozen.  They are sold in cartons of ten at the store. Though, you can also buy them in the market.  I have not yet tried that to see how much they cost.  That may be my next adventure.  Though, I am a little scared of accidentally getting one with a chick inside... Animal carcass falling into my brownie batter seems unfortunate... Side note, people here eat fertilized eggs as a specialty item.  I will not be having that crunchy cultural experience.

 

Actual Price: $2.80 - I have shopped around to three different markets and at some the cheapest butter is $3.40.  Too bad the cheap butter is the farthest from my house...

 

Actual Price: $4.60

 

Actual Price: $1.60 (is the cheapest price I have seen and remember)

 

Actual Price: $0.50 - $0.67  I think the lady there has gotten to know me because I buy a hand of bananas at least twice each week.  I also think she realized I wasn't going to barter so she raised the asking price from $0.50 to $0.67.  Once we jump to $0.75, I will say price (as they say for bargain) like my life depends on it.  That right there will break the piggy bank ;)

 

Actual Price: $1.25 BUT THEY ARE SO GOOD!  And, we haven't had to buy them for a while thanks to my generous teacher giving me some from her family's trees.  I wonder if I can grow a mango tree on the balcony of my apartment...

 

Actual Price: $0.67 (Dragon Fruit in case you forgot what that is)

 

Actual Price: $0.67 - Doesn't that beautiful color just make you want to lick it!?!  FYI, bad idea if you have a touch screen...

 

Actual Price: $0.50

 

Actual Price: $0.50

So, how'd you do?  Did you have to phone a friend?  Did you want to buy a vowel?  Use a life line?  Are you the Weakest Link?  Were you voted off the island?  What is, please stop using game show references?  :)

*Side note: I got a little closer to all of you in the US last night.  We don't have day light savings time here, so I am now 14 hours off of the West Coast and 11 hours from the East Coast.  (The other amounts were so much easier to calculate).  And, last tangent, I recently had a conversation with my teacher in Khmer.  I told him I spoke with my sister in the morning and he said, "Oh, is it 8pm there for your family?"  I said, "Yes, for my sister.  It is 5pm for the rest of my family."  He looked confused (more so than when I usually am speaking).  I, then, attempted to explain time zones.  He said, "Huh.  Cambodia is all the same."  I laughed, "And said, that is because Cambodia is the same size as one state in my country :)"  So, this is your question to be answered next time.  What state is roughly the same size as Cambodia?  (Ok, there are probably multiple states but if you guess the one I am thinking of, you get kudos. I may have mentioned it in an earlier blog).

T'lie Pone Mawn

T'lie Pone Mawn means how much does it cost (t-as in talk + lie - as in don't tell one, Pone rhymes with bone, Mawn rhymes with dawn, as in when I get up).  This is my favorite, or least favorite, phrase at the market.  Following their response you are supposed to respond, "T'lie Pake (rhymes with bake) and ask if they can do... some price less.  I am usually in what I call a USAmerican mood where I don't want to haggle for my bananas when they are only asking 50 cents for the bunch.  Plus, given the fact that I make around twice the living wage for a family of three in the city, or about eight times what a factory worker makes, I find it a bit stingy to haggle over 25 cents.  I always go back to, which of us really needs that 25 cents more, thus, enjoy your 25 cents, seller lady.  This is a point of debate among missioners, and my teachers, many of whom think it is cultural to bargain and we should pay no more than the locals, I have a different opinion, as you can see, but that is not the point of this post, I digress.

I have prepared this great guessing game for you called, T'lie Pone Mawn.  Think of it as The Price is Right - Cambodia style.  Though, you have nothing but your pride to gain. I contemplated a price, but really don't want to calculate numerically how close everyone is.  If you want to let me know your guesses, you are still welcome to do so.  The rules are this, below are some pictures of various items I purchase (on a regular basis).  I will describe the item and You get to guess how much each one costs.  Next blog update, I will give you the answers.

Good luck!

 

#1 Chicken Eggs -  You must specify here as duck eggs are also popular.  I have had them...once.  That was enough.  They have a MUCH stronger flavor than chicken eggs.  Bonus points, if you correctly notice one major difference between my carton of eggs and your normal carton in the states.

 

 

#2 Butter - This is the way butter is sold here.  I have seen it from Australia, New Zealand... and at least one other place.  I have tried all the cheapest brands and this is definitely the best.  It is a good thing I bake so much in the states that I can guesstimate a tablespoon well, as it is not marked (or marked only in grams)

 

#3 Best Oatmeal -  This is from Australia, I think.  I had only been able to find the quick oats, which are sooo mushy.  Thus, finding rolled oats was a particularly great moment.  

  

#4 - Baking friends, this is how yeast is sold here.  I am guessing because most normal, everyday folks don't have ovens.  Thus, only professional bakers buy yeast.  I actually didn't buy this because another lay missioner had bought it a few months ago and never opened it, thus, I was gifted this awesomeness.  If I come back to the states during my stay here, I will take orders for anyone who wants cheap yeast ;)

 

All of the above items are purchased as a supermarket (some are much more western than others).  A few things to note: 1) Many 'western' foods can be found in the super markets, almost anything you would want.  The catch, you will be paying a HUGE amount for many of these imported items; 2) Prices are not consistent on these items, week to week, they will change.  In my month, I have seen items increase by up to a quarter at the exact same place.  Not sure if this is an inflation thing or simply the person with the price gun selected a different price at the time of labeling;  3) These places have fruit and veggies BUT it is all wrapped in plastic and Styrofoam (so my environmentalist side cringes) and it is not nearly as fresh as the market.

 

# 5 Bananas - Here, they sell bananas by the "hand"  I can't say I had heard that term before coming here but since I had to learn it is Khmer, I now know it in English, too.  These are one of three kinds of bananas they have here.  I have only been able to find two in the market.  These little ones are super sweet, and I think I had similar in Nicaragua back in my youth...  Fun fact, in Khmer Sign Language, they have three different signs for banana because there are three different kinds.  So, how much is one hand?

 

#6 Mangoes -  My one true love.  These puppies are something I really should bargain over, as they are the most expensive thing I buy but I just can't muster the energy to do it... Someday.  Maybe I will take my language teacher with me someday and she can teacher me the art of bargaining.  She actually has a mango tree in her front yard and brought me seven mangoes, so I won't have to go bargaining for the week :)

 

 

 

#7 Dragon Fruit - These are Dragon Fruit, for those not familiar with them.  I forgot to take a picture of the inside (it is white with small black seeds).  See here.   I have decided I want a dragon fruit inspired dress...  Fashion designers, GO!

 

#8 Watermelon - Chinese New Year time is apparently melon time!  This was DELICIOUS!  If I wasn't so worried about my stomach, I would probably live on fruit here.  It is all So GOOD!  These little melons are smaller than the US but look...

 

It is not a fake watermelon like the ones in the states!  It has seeds.  If you have ever been around me while I eat watermelon, you have probably heard my rant about how the fake watermelons these days are going to ruin the youth of the future because they will not know how to have a seed spitting contest.  County fairs everywhere are suffering... But, not in CAMBODIA!

 

 

#9 Carrot - Next Khmer word for you, Care-ott.  Yup, did I feel like a stooge after asking for a kilo of those to be told those were called Care-otts ;)  They are big and fat and delicious here!  It is basically like a farmers' market being my only source of veggies.  But, not DC farmers' market prices.  Hint #1

 

 

#10 - And, last but not least.  These lovely green peppers went into my Mexi-style rice and beans.  My language teachers think it is super weird that I eat beans and rice together.  They don't know what they are missing.

Ok, so those are all your pictures for which you must guess prices/costs.  READY, GO!  

(You can either write down your answers and save for your future checking, or put them in the comments.  I will be curious to know how you do!)

And, as Bob Barker would say, "Always have your pets spayed or neutered." Or, since this is Cambodia, "Rabies shots people!"  ;)