Authenticity

This year, the whole Maryknoll team here was invited to attend the Fourth of July reception and picnic at the US Embassy of Phnom Penh. Little did my colleague James and I know the important people that would be in attendance. Can you find us?

The reception is a formal event, in the morning, for leaders of organizations and other important figures (and a few of us lucky plebeians that happen to know someone who knows someone). This flashed me back to years ago when I worked at a job where networking was a big part of what I had to do. Schmoozing. Pressing the flesh. Kissing babies. You get the picture. Now, I have always loved people. I love learning people's stories and hearing what makes them tick.  I network in my sleep and am always trying to connect people who I think would be able to help each other in someway but these formal events make my skin crawl.


Let me paint a picture, for those of you that have not had the privilege of attending one of these events. 200+ people. All dressed in black suits. 90% of them are male. They clump around tables with those they know, introducing them to others they know... Or press-up against the walls glad to have a drink in their hand because it is their only friend in the world. It is a huge game to me. Everyone is trying to fit into a role, it seems, where they conform to some unspoken societal expectation (except for the two people in brown suits and the man in bright red pants whom I almost wanted to kiss for embracing their individuality).

I really enjoy (read with a voice dripping in sarcasm) the strategies of escaping someone in whom you see no value.  I am probably not supposed to analyze these, but I do: 1) "Here, meet my colleague;" 2) Flatly saying you need to go check on another guest; 3) Heading to the bathroom or to get a drink; 4) Simply walking off. It is amazing how poorly most of the world can carry on a conversation if it is not scripted and serving some specific purpose (beyond learning the story of another and acknowledging their experience).


Someday, when I am supreme ruler of the universe, I plan to only talk to the people that everyone else avoids because they have no 'value' for high power schmoozing – and maybe someday these 'important' folks will realize that creatively engaging with those who are different than them will lead to some great new ideas and opportunities.  For now, I will take my actual authentic interactions with real people any day over this game of who has the best title on their name card...



I don't want to end on a negative note.  I recently attended the wedding of one of our Deaf community members (I don't know him well, but was still invited). Here, though we were again all wearing costumes, at least our interactions were authentic. Enjoy some fun photos with my colleagues.

Yup, that is just my normal, 100% natural face ;)