Journey Inwards

This past week (or two weeks), I was away for ten days at a yoga and meditation retreat.  It was the Khmer New Year here which meant things shut down for a while and so I figured it was a good time to journey inwards.  This is some of what I found.


Ok, I didn't find this inside of me.  This was a bit of the six hour bus ride up to Siem Reap (my retreat was outside Siem Reap in a small farming village).  This was filmed specifically for my cousin Zachary who valiantly attempted to teach me the Gangam Style dance at our other cousin's wedding.  Some good tunes were played in my Cambodian bus.  You will notice, the road is a bit rough.  People with money generally fly to Siem Reap from Phnom Penh, thus, no pressure to fix the roads.  But, it was still better than Ghana's Eastern road, to put it in perspective.

So, I digress.  I made my retreat at a place called Hariharalaya which offers 10-day to forever retreats at which folks can learn yoga/meditation and have many opportunities to practice.  They have a very peaceful location in a rural area, though very close to one of the temples on the Angkor Wat tour circuit.  There were trees (mango, banana, coconut, plus others I don't know), oh how I have missed such things.  I stayed in a simple dorm, thatch roof and room for the wind to blow in between the joints.  I would fall asleep to the sounds of hundreds of crickets, geckos, frogs, toads, dogs, and the thumping of the neighbor's sound system.  It was beautiful.  They also served us three vegan meals each day made with all local foods.  That, too, was beautiful.  Foods were not to spicy and relatively simple, as complex foods and spicy foods impact ones body increasing anxiety and decreasing ability to concentrate (you can choose to buy that or not, but as a person whose stomach can't handle complex foods and who feels better not eating meat, it works for me).

Each day, we spent time 'practicing' yoga, meditation, chanting, and working on centering.  I spent three of the days in silence, two without reading and writing attempting to further slow myself down.  Why do all of this?  The theories behind this, in my opinion, is that we are all so rush, stimulated and connected, in today's world especially, and taking time to recenter allows us to have better focus, to be more content and at peace with the way things are, living in the present moment instead of constantly longing for the past or dreaming of the future.

As many of you know, this is far more easily said than done.  On the longest days of meditation and yoga, including my personally added time to increase the amount of stretching and get the most out of my 10-days, it was about eight hours of sitting still or practicing yoga.  HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO SIT UNMOVING FOR 50 MINUTES, at one time, in 100 degree weather with mosquitoes and flies having a party on every bit of bare flesh they can find, without opening your eyes?  :)  Needless to say, at times, it took every ounce of my stubbornness to sit still.

I have yet to master the stilling of my mind, the body was a tough enough task but definitely made me more aware of how much we move in this life.  I also have been reminded how we are conditioned to believe an ability to multitask, getting pulled in multiple directions at once, watching tv, while eating, texting, and having a dinner party is a skill, while I think that constant over stimulation may also be to our detriment (she writes while eating watermelon, checking her email, and contemplating if she should stay up and study more Khmer or just go to sleep).

So, yes, have I been changed for life?  Maybe.  I am trying to continue meditating multiple times each day and am paying more attention to my breathing.  I have noticed my ability to concentrate is stronger than when I left and I internally feel less frantic/anxious.  Part of my embarking on this new path and moving to Cambodia was to become a more patient person, so this is one more tool in my toolbox. *Huh, tool, I know how to say that in Khmer, she thinks as her mind again jumps away from the blog on which she is working*

I leave you with a few photos of the peaceful place I called home for ten days.

 

This was one of three outdoor showers.  It is called the Mango Shower as it is covered by a mango tree.  It was a freshing shower experience!

 

This is the yoga and meditation hall.  Though, when in use it quickly filled with mats, pillows, and around 20-40 people.

 

From my dorm, this was one of the views.  Look at all them trees :)  Notice the hammocks and outdoor sink.

  

There was one swing tied to a tree.  I spent many free moments on that swing.  This was my view.  The fence detracted just a wee bit.  It was fun to watch the world go by my little escape from reality.

 

This is the view from the fence.  Crazy foreigner on a swing :)

 

Sometimes this guy would keep me company, he seemed to live near the swing.  He also liked to sing me to sleep at night. Maybe I should have given him a smooch for his hard work.

 

Nothing profound.  But yet, so profound.  Slowing down to see the flowers.

 

And, the ants.  These ants apparently are very sour.  They are fried up with beef for a specialty dish served regularly at weddings.  I was just impressed with their work ethic.  They also always stopped to greet each other :)

 

I don't know the story of this red bug, but he was pretty cute.  This one was for you Mallory C.!